There’s a certain myth that floats around like the smell of cologne at a Bugis Street stall — the belief that if you hang around a gay neighbourhood long enough, you’ll automatically become stylish. In Singapore, that means people assume one trip to Tanjong Pagar and suddenly you’ll emerge wearing linen pants, a Cuban collar shirt, and the confidence of someone who knows what “tonal layering” means.
It’s the same myth that Hollywood sold us for years: that all gay men are born with the gift of style, and straight men are born to shop like cavemen — a T-shirt, one pair of jeans, and that same pair of sneakers from National Service. But fashion, like gender, is far more layered than that.
This idea — that masculinity and style can’t coexist — has been sitting stubbornly in our cultural wardrobe for decades. And maybe, just maybe, it’s time to give it away.
The Myth of the “Stylish Gay Man”
Designer Isaac Mizrahi once joked that this stereotype came from how people in the mid-20th century only knew “three gay men — and all of them happened to be stylish.” So the math was simple: all gay men must be stylish. That image was reinforced through TV shows like Will & Grace and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, where the gay best friend’s primary role was to rescue his scruffy, emotionally constipated straight friend from his tragic wardrobe.
Fast forward to today, and we still see hints of that dynamic — just with better lighting and a TikTok filter. Straight men are told that to be fashionable is to flirt with femininity, while gay men are expected to perform it like an art. In between lies a huge group of confused Singaporean men who just want to look put-together without their friends saying, “Wah bro, you trying too hard ah?”
But fashion isn’t about trying too hard. It’s about trying right — trying with purpose.
The Psychology of Dressing Well
Here’s where psychology comes in. In a 2012 study from Northwestern University, researchers coined the term “enclothed cognition” — the idea that what you wear affects how you think, feel, and behave. When participants wore a lab coat described as a doctor’s coat, they performed better in attention-related tasks than those who wore the same coat described as a painter’s coat. Same outfit, different mindset.
So when a man puts effort into dressing well — a crisp shirt, clean shoes, a scent that isn’t from the gym locker — he’s not just impressing others. He’s reminding himself that he’s capable, present, and worthy of respect. That’s not vanity. That’s neuroscience.
And yet, social pressure is real. A 2018 study by the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that men often underplay their fashion interest because they fear being perceived as less masculine. But the truth is, masculinity isn’t something that disappears when you wear a fitted shirt. It’s something that should expand to include self-expression.
Singapore, Sweat, and Style
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Musa, have you tried dressing well in this weather?” Fair. The humidity here turns even the most stylish man into a melting version of himself. But that’s exactly why style in Singapore has to be functional.
You can be fashionable without overdressing. Linen and cotton are your best friends. Tailoring is key — not because it’s fancy, but because it respects your body shape. Think of it this way: your shirt shouldn’t look like it’s trying to escape your torso, and your trousers shouldn’t look like they were borrowed from your cousin’s wedding. Fit is half the battle.
And accessories? They don’t make you less masculine. They make you remembered. A good watch, simple leather bracelet, or clean sneakers say, “I care enough to show up, but not so much that I’m competing with my reflection.”
The Style-Confidence Connection
There’s a reason style icons like David Beckham, Pharrell Williams, and Harry Styles can pull off looks that the average man hesitates to try. It’s not just their bone structure (though, yes, that helps). It’s their confidence.
According to research published in the British Journal of Psychology (2019), people who feel confident in their appearance are rated as more charismatic and competent — regardless of what they’re actually wearing. In other words, confidence makes the outfit, not the other way around.
So instead of obsessing over whether pink is “too loud” or shorts above the knee are “too millennial,” maybe the real test of masculinity is whether you can wear it and own it.
Practical Tips to Be Stylish (and Still Feel Like a Man)
Start with Fit, Not Brand.
No one cares if your shirt cost $20 or $200 if it fits like a potato sack. Tailoring changes everything. Even Uniqlo looks luxurious when it hugs the right places.Neutral is Noble.
Singapore men often fear colour like it’s a personal attack. But neutrals — beige, olive, navy, grey — are your best friends. They mix easily, they look expensive, and they don’t scream, “I tried.”Invest in Good Shoes.
Social psychologist Nicholas Rule found that people form impressions in less than 100 milliseconds — often from shoes. Clean, well-maintained footwear is a silent announcement that you’ve got your life together.Own One Signature Piece.
Maybe it’s a leather watch, a bold print shirt, or glasses that frame your face well. Your signature piece says, “This is me,” without you saying anything at all.Smell Like Effort.
Scent is the invisible part of style. Studies show that people are more likely to perceive well-groomed individuals as trustworthy and attractive (University of Liverpool, 2020). A clean, subtle cologne can shift how people experience your presence.Confidence Over Costume.
You don’t have to copy Pinterest boards or Paris runways. Style is personal. It’s about feeling like the best version of yourself, not an imitation of someone else.
The Uncle Who Got It Right
Last week, I was on the MRT when I saw an older uncle — maybe in his 60s — wearing a pale linen shirt, perfectly pressed, with tan trousers and loafers that looked well-loved but cared for. He wasn’t flashy. He wasn’t trying. He was comfortable.
He stood there with a posture that said, “I’ve lived long enough to know that polyester is a trap.” He smiled at a child, adjusted his watch, and just existed in that calm, put-together energy. That’s what real style looks like — not loud, not showy, but intentional.
And it made me realise: being stylish isn’t about chasing trends or fighting stereotypes. It’s about having respect — for your body, your presence, and your story. Whether you’re gay, straight, or somewhere gloriously in between, style is just another way of saying, “I’m here, and I care.”
Because in a city as fast-moving and hot as ours, being stylish isn’t about keeping up. It’s about standing still — for a moment — and knowing you’ve already got what you need to look fabulous. You just have to wear it like you mean it.
Written by: Adi Jamaludin
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