In Singapore, heartbreak doesn’t always look like what you see in the movies. There’s no dramatic rain pouring as you collapse onto the pavement, no cinematic music swelling in the background. Here, heartbreak happens quietly — between MRT rides, between work deadlines, between “eh you okay or not?” texts you never answer.
Life moves too fast for heartbreak to catch up properly. You don’t even realise your heart is breaking because you’re too busy replying to emails, topping up your EZ-Link, and queueing for bubble tea to “reward yourself for surviving another day.”
And then — just like that — one random weekday, your other half tells you it’s over. Maybe through text, maybe face-to-face. Either way, something in you freezes. Time slows down, sound fades, and suddenly, you’re standing in this strange emotional void, half in reality and half in disbelief. You want to cry, but you’re too stunned. You want to scream, but the words won’t come.
Delphine Hirsh once wrote, “From the first moment that you have the wind knocked out of you by hearing that the relationship is over, you must ruthlessly prioritise doing as little as possible. Expect nothing from yourself other than to keep breathing.”
She’s right. In those first few hours, breathing is enough. But if you’ve lived long enough in Singapore, you’ll know that even breathing can feel like a scheduled task. We don’t sit still very well — we have to do something.
So if you’ve just had your heart smashed into pieces and you’re trying not to cry into your cai fan, here are five Singaporean-approved ways to survive heartbreak — no ice cream tubs, no Hallmark nonsense. Just real talk, lah.
1. Cry First, Then Laugh at Yourself
Let’s start with the basics: cry. Properly cry. Don’t do that half-hearted “I’m fine” nonsense. Find your bed, your toilet, your carpark, your void deck — wherever — and just let it out. Cry until your nose blocks, your eyes swell, your body hiccups.
Crying is not weakness. It’s biology’s way of pressing the reset button. Studies have shown that emotional tears actually help reduce stress hormones like cortisol — meaning you literally feel lighter after you’ve cried it out.
But here’s the Singaporean part — after you’ve cried, laugh a bit. Laugh at how dramatic you were. Laugh at how your Spotify playlist has somehow turned psychic and keeps playing heartbreak songs at the exact wrong time. Laugh because you once said, “I’ll never survive without him/her,” and yet here you are, eating maggi mee and surviving just fine.
Heartbreak hurts, but laughter disarms it. And when you can find humour in your own tragedy, you’ve already started healing.
2. Get Moving (Preferably Somewhere With Aircon)
You’ve heard it before — exercise helps. But in Singapore’s heat, sometimes even walking to the bus stop feels like a breakup in itself. So don’t worry, you don’t need to suddenly become an athlete. The goal here isn’t to transform into some fitness influencer. It’s to move your body enough to remind yourself you’re still alive.
Go for a jog, join a spin class, or if you’re lazy like most of us, walk around Jewel pretending you’re in an airport commercial. Move until your thoughts stop looping like an MRT announcement.
Movement helps release endorphins, which are basically nature’s antidepressants. But there’s something deeper too — when you move, you physically process emotion. Anger, sadness, longing — they all need somewhere to go. Otherwise, they sit inside you, like unclaimed luggage in Changi.
So lift weights, kickboxing, zumba — whatever works. Imagine punching your heartbreak in the face. Imagine sprinting away from your sadness. Sweat it out, shower, and look in the mirror. See? Still here. Still standing.
3. Redecorate Your Life, One Little Thing at a Time
Some people move on by shopping for a new wardrobe. Others chop their hair off or dye it neon pink. Singaporeans, being practical, might start by cleaning their room. Whatever works — but the goal is the same: to reclaim your space.
When a relationship ends, your life feels invaded by memories. The corner of your bed, the smell of a perfume, the stupid mug he left behind — everything is a landmine. You don’t need to erase everything, but you can start shifting things around.
Rearrange your furniture. Change your bedsheets. Donate the clothes that remind you of him/her (especially the ones you wore on anniversaries, please). Buy a plant, even if you’ll forget to water it. Change your phone wallpaper.
It sounds superficial, but these little acts send a powerful message to your brain: This space now belongs to me again.
And yes, if you want to splurge a little, go ahead. Buy that new cologne or perfume that makes you feel like you again. Retail therapy is not about replacing love with consumption — it’s about reclaiming joy.
One of my friends once told me after her breakup, “I threw away everything that reminded me of him except the wireless mouse, because that one still works perfectly.”
That, my friend, is healing with financial literacy.
4. Reconnect With People Who Love You for Free
When you’re in a relationship, your world tends to shrink. You start cancelling plans, ghosting friends, skipping family dinners — because somehow you believe your partner is enough. Until one day, you realise you’ve built your entire emotional house on one person, and when they leave, everything collapses.
So now, it’s time to rebuild your social safety net.
Call your friends. The ones who always reply, “Finally ah, you remember me.” Meet them for prata, karaoke, or that overpriced matcha café you’ve been too embarrassed to go alone. Tell them what happened. Cry a bit if you need to. But also laugh. Talk nonsense. Let yourself be reminded that love still exists — just in different forms.
And if you’re lucky, you’ll realise that heartbreak doesn’t mean you’ve lost love. It just means love has changed shape. It’s now found in your mother packing extra food for you, your best friend sending memes at 3am, your cat sleeping beside you without judgement.
As Maya Angelou once said, “Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”
Love isn’t gone. It’s just somewhere else, waiting for you to notice.
5. Don’t Rush to “Move On” — Just Move Forward
Here’s the thing about heartbreak: everyone will tell you to “move on.” But nobody tells you how. They’ll say things like “time heals all wounds,” as if time is a magician with healing powers.
But time doesn’t heal — you do. Slowly, awkwardly, imperfectly.
So stop rushing. You don’t need to immediately find someone new, or delete all the photos, or pretend you’re fine. Healing is not a race — it’s more like an MRT journey during peak hour: crowded, uncomfortable, and occasionally delayed.
Moving on means you’re trying to erase the past. Moving forward means you’re learning to live with it.
Maybe some days, you’ll wake up feeling light again. Maybe other days, you’ll see something that reminds you of them, and the ache returns. That’s okay. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It just means remembering without breaking.
And when you reach that point — when you can think of them without bitterness — that’s when you know your heart didn’t just survive. It grew.
There’s a saying that goes, “The cure for pain is in the pain.” The only way out is through. You’ll stumble, cry, rage, and probably question your entire taste in humans — but eventually, you’ll realise heartbreak is not an ending. It’s a recalibration.
So if you’re going through it now, take heart. Your world might feel smaller, but it’s only making space for something new to grow.
And one day, when someone asks you about your ex, you’ll smile and say, “Aiyah, last time lah.”
That’s when you’ll know you’ve made it out — not perfectly, but beautifully human.
Written by: Adi Jamaludin
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