Wednesday, December 31, 2014

As of any other end of years, this year I was tempted to write an entry on New Year Resolution-- you know the typical "10 Ways to Build a List of More Realistic Resolutions" or "How To Achieve Your Goals". However, due to recent incidents, I've decided to scrap that and instead I am going to tell you about the 5 types of friends that should be left behind together with the other bad stuff that has been happening in 2014;

Type #1-- The Plastic Friends
This type of friends are the fakest of them all; even more fake than Nicki Minaj's ass.

They will shower you with words of endearment like DARLING or DEAR, but little did you know, they've been using these terms of endearment on anybody and everybody-- the uncles sitting in the coffeshops, the rapists who raped a 56 year old auntie, heck, they'd even call the dog poo on the curb side DARLING! Beware of their empty promises and sweet words cos they ain't mean anything. To them, you are as good as the dog poo on the curb side.

Type #2-- The "MeMeMe" Friends
This type of friends, they will waste your time indefinitely. They are sometimes sneaky. They will open the conversation with a question about your well-being to show luke as if they care, but before you could even answer their questiosn properly, they would barge in with their own personal anecdotes and sometimes, even their own problems. Here are some examples;

Person 1: heeeey.
You: Hey.
Person 1: how are you and your boyfriend? I hope you guys are good.
You: Yeah. We are good. My BF has recently been very busy with…
Person 1: (interjects) Actually I just want to tell you about my life, you know (blab la bla) and he is very (blab la bla)…

And the next 15 minutes will be this person 1 talking while I was forced to listen.
And here is a second example…

Person 2: How is the problem between you and your mother?
You: We are still working it out. Things have been complicated and…
Person 2: Yeah. That’s the thing with mothers right? My mother and I recently have this problem and (bla bla bla) and I’m so frustrated with her… (bla bla bla)  and she is really not being understanding.. (bla bla bla)…

And the next hour is dedicated to you having to listen to this person’s 2 problem who is not really even interested in your problem. As mentioned, these friends are going to suck your time and energy, getting you to listen about their "MeMeMe" stories and problems. Please don't give in to them. Please, instead, find the nearest rubbish bin and dump them. Friends who are not sincere and who do not want to hear your stories and always going "memememe" are just as good as rubbish dump, and the rubbish bin is where they belong.

Type #3-- The "Chipsmore" Friends
Over here in Asia (I am not sure about any other regions), we have this cookies called the Chipsmore Cookies, and their tagline is "Now you see it, now you don't".
now you see it, now you don't cookies
So these Chipsmore friends will appear and then disappear on you. They never show up for your birthdays, or even when you're having the worst problems in your life. Their typical excuses-- "I am busy" or "I have work". If they are too busy to be in your life, you shouldn't even consider bringing them into 2015. 

However, Chipsmore friends are not to be confused with caring Chippendales friends.
Caring Chippendale Friend
Please carry as many caring and loveable Chippendales Friends that you have into 2015, and you might even want to consider sharing some with me. #shameless me.

Type #4 – The Leechers Friends
They will come to you to borrow anything and everything; from money to make-up to even clothes. I am not asking you to judge them, but there are times when it is better not to be sucked dry… if you get what I mean.

Type #5 – The Judgemental Friends
They aspire to be in Judge Judy that was aired on CBS. As it turned out, they were rejected from the show. If CBS rejected them, I don’t see why you should allow them in your life.
If they want to be judgemental, just show them the way to the edge of a cliff. Let them judge the height of the cliff, as they slip and fall to their death.


On a more positive note, as you leave these 5 types of friends, you will now have more time and space to build a more positive relationship with more positive people. I’ve just repeated “positive” 3 times in the last sentence, but if you’re not convinced, I shall… just make a toast to you, nonetheless. Here is to a more positive 2015!

0 comments: