International Friendship Day

Every April, schools across Singapore mark International Friendship Day (IFD). The intent is noble: to remind students that our nearest neighbours—Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, Vietnam, the Philippines, Myanmar, Cambodia, Laos, Brunei, and beyond—are not just points on a map but partners, friends, and even family in a shared region called Southeast Asia.

But somewhere along the way, the meaning gets blurred. Too often, celebrations are reduced to “come in costume day.” Students wear traditional outfits, sometimes without knowing which country or culture they represent. Some schools post a few photos online. Then the day is done.

And here’s the problem: costumes without context risk becoming caricature. We may even fall into cultural misappropriation if the act of wearing takes over the act of understanding.

As Martin Luther King Jr. once said:

“Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will.”

Intentions matter—but depth matters even more.

 

Why April, Not July?

Some students (and even teachers) ask: why April? After all, the United Nations International Friendship Day falls in July. The answer: Singapore’s IFD is a National Education commemorative day, set deliberately in April to reflect our diplomatic realities and ASEAN ties. It’s not about the same “global friendship” theme—it’s about our region, our neighbours, our backyard.

Yet, confusion persists. The blurring between IFD (about regional friendships) and Racial Harmony Day (about internal harmony among Singapore’s ethnic groups) doesn’t help. When students don’t see the difference, they miss the deeper lessons.

So, how do we do better?

 

Three Ways to Celebrate International Friendship Day Better

1. Folktales as Cultural Bridges

Imagine a morning assembly not of costumes but of stories. A student tells the tale of Sang Kancil, the clever mousedeer from Malay folklore. Another shares the Filipino tale of the Monkey and the Turtle—different animals, same lessons about wit and humility. A Thai student narrates Phra Abhai Mani, a prince whose flute can move hearts.

Different languages, different lands, but the morals echo each other. Respect elders. Be kind. Think cleverly. The similarities show we are different—and yet the same.

As the Malaysian writer Tunku Halim once noted:

“Folktales are the roots from which our identity grows; and roots often intertwine below the surface.”

 

2. Shared Desserts, Shared Identity

Food unites faster than flags. Yet, Southeast Asians often argue about who “owns” a dish. Instead, International Friendship Day should teach us to see food as a bridge, not a battleground.

Take kueh for instance.

• Kueh Lapis in Singapore, Kuih Lapis in Malaysia, and Lapis Legit in Indonesia—all layered, all sweet, all ours.
• Ondeh-ondeh in Singapore/Malaysia and Klepon in Indonesia—glutinous rice balls filled with gula melaka, rolled in coconut. Same chewy bite, same burst of sweetness.
• Pulut Mangga in Malaysia mirrors Mango Sticky Rice (Khao Niao Mamuang) in Thailand—a tropical embrace of rice and fruit.
• Halo-Halo in the Philippines shares DNA with Ais Kacang in Singapore/Malaysia—shaved ice, sweet beans, and colourful toppings.
• Even Satay runs through our veins: Indonesia, Malaysia, Thailand, and Singapore all have their versions. The peanut sauce may vary, but the joy of smoky skewers is the same.

Instead of asking, “Whose dish came first?” we should ask, “How does this dish show we belong to one table?”

Or as Anthony Bourdain put it:

“Food is everything we are. It’s an extension of nationalist feeling, ethnic feeling, your personal history, your province, your region, your tribe, your grandma.”

 

3. Collaborative Cultural Projects

Schools can go beyond one-day costumes by assigning projects that encourage research and empathy. Students can:

• Create ASEAN “passport” cards with fun facts about each country.
• Learn greetings in Thai, Vietnamese, Tagalog, and Khmer.
• Host booths where international students share their culture.
• Stage mini performances—songs, dances, or short skits—collaboratively researched.

This transforms IFD from a spectacle of dressing up into a practice of reaching out.

 

Towards a More Meaningful International Friendship Day

At its heart, International Friendship Day isn’t about dressing like your neighbour—it’s about knowing your neighbour. It’s about empathy, not embroidery; respect, not ribbons.

If students leave school understanding that Southeast Asia’s strength lies not in uniformity but in unity, then we’ve done justice to the day.

The Malay idiom reminds us:

“Berat sama dipikul, ringan sama dijinjing.”
(What is heavy we carry together; what is light we carry under our arms.)

And that’s the lesson April should teach: that in times of uncertainty, we survive not by standing apart but by standing together—as friends, as neighbours, as Southeast Asians.